Daily Letter - September 5, 2014

Dear Husband, I'm so happy we got to go on a date tonight. Thank you for taking me shopping for "granola shoes." Dear Nolie Cannoli, You are so much more alert, and checking out this new world. I love watching you take it all in. Dear Directv, After 2 years without tv, I'm beyond excited to watch football, HGTV, and the Duggers. Dear Weekend, I'm so happy you're here! Love spending weekend days with my little family. 

Happy Friday, everyone!

Daily Letter #1

Dear Mr Mosley, Thank you for changing the cat liter last night. It was gross, and you knocked it out. #sograteful. Dear Sweet Baby Cakes, Your ability to feast astounds me. Your little belly is a bottomless pit. Dear Crookshanks, Your cat antics crack me up. Today you went back and forth between the porch, and the house 6 zillion times. #makeupyourmind. Dear Nolan's binkies, Finding you "hidden" around the house is like a perpetual Easter egg hunt. The downside is you don't taste like chocolate. But my baby still loves you. 

Daily letters is a new thing on the blog. A fun way to remember tid bits of everyday life. 

Nolan's Birth Story - Part 2

Before I get into the details of Nolan's birth, I thought a little prelude would be helpful to set the scene. 

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to have a natural childbirth. It was one of those life experiences that I really wanted to check off my bucket list. I am in awe at the beautiful, and powerful way the human body knows exactly what to do when it comes to labor and delivery. In my opinion, modern medicine doesn't give the body enough credit. We are truly designed by God. I realized early on that things don't always work out the way you planned it, so during my pregnancy I prayed my heart out that I could have the birth experience I wanted. 

I thought it was important to prepare myself for natural delivery. I knew it would be the most physically demanding thing my body has ever done, and I didn't want to leave anything to chance. We had intended to take Bradley classes, but the classes were weekly in Lexington for 12 weeks, and that just wasn't practical with Jake's work schedule. So, I read everything I could get my hands on. My favorite was the book "Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth." If you are expecting, I highly recommend it. It's chalk full of inspirational stories, and very informative in describing the way labor progresses. I digress, I had plenty of people tell me that I would change my mind, or that I would beg for medicine after I felt the first hard contraction, but I made up my mind that given the opportunity I would have him naturally. (By the way, don't be one of those negative people!)

So, back to our story...

After my water broke, my room went from dark and quiet, to bright and busy. Jake set to calling our parents, while I talked to the nurse, and waited for the resident physician to come in and "officially" check to make sure my water had broken. Jake and I kept repeating how excited we were to meet our son! 

My contractions started off around 6 or 7 minutes apart, and were moderate in pain level. In Ina Mae's book, she talks about how powerful visualization can be. So, as crazy and "granola" as it sounds, during each contraction I would visualize myself carrying the baby to the top of my favorite mountain. (Mt. Leconte in GSMNP). I thought about not sharing this part because it's so cheesy, but the truth is thinking about the journey to the top of the mountain really helped me get through the pain of contractions. As labor progressed, the journey became more difficult, and my focus shifted to the breathtaking peak and the vast, open landscape.  Another important aspect of this visualization, was focusing my breathing. I'm by no means an expert at meditation, but I had used deep breathing techniques for years to help control my stress levels. I'm really showing my "crunchy" side, but there is something to be said for meditation. It's a powerful tool.

The day progressed like it should for a woman in labor. Our families showed up before the sun rose, and settled in for a long day of waiting. Around 11 am, our favorite nurse, Mollee came into work, and Jake and I were thrilled that she would be our nurse on this important day. We had learned earlier in the week that Mollee had actually trained as a midwife while she lived in England. And she was super knowledgeable about natural childbirth. Talk about a huge blessing! It was a comfort to know that someone on the medical side of things understood my desire for a drug free delivery, and wouldn't pressure me into something I didn't want. It was her idea to not mention the "M" word (medicine) unless I brought it up. (It was really helpful to not focus or even think about medicine at all.)

My parents, and Jake's Dad stayed in the room for the majority of the morning. Offering words of encouragement, or a hand to squeeze during a painful contraction. The support of our families was indescribable.  I could literally feel all the prayer, and the love supporting me. In retrospect, for me childbirth was an extremely emotional, and spiritual experience. At one point, I swear I could even feel the love coming from my Gram and Pap Porter, and told my parents that I could feel them near.

One of the funniest things happened right before my labor changed from active to transitional. I was definitely not my normal self, and in between contractions, I would be aware of what was going on around me, but mostly stayed in my own little 'zoned out' world. I kept telling Jake that I was nauseated, but it hadn't progressed to anything but a feeling, until my friend Megan came in. I remember Mom telling me that she was there, and I wanted to see her, so I asked Mom to show her into the room. Megan was only a week and half behind me in our pregnancies, and we had gotten to experience everything at basically the same time. The second she walked over to my bedside, I looked up and said, "I have to throw up!" And without hesitation she grabbed a bucket, and held it while I took care of business. That was the only thing I was able to say to Megan that day, but talk about a good friend! We laughed about it later, but I was thankful she wasn't too grossed out by my greeting.

After I threw up, my contractions became almost unbearable, and with only a minute or two break in between. At this point, I did become a little unglued. I needed oxygen for a short while, but the mask on my face made me feel incredibly claustrophobic. The pain of the contractions, along with the intense claustrophobic feeling made me feel like I wasn't in control. It was at this point that I kicked everyone out of the room, except Jake. I actually don't remember kicking everyone out, but things were getting serious, and I needed to focus.

The doctor came into check my progress, and I was almost dilated to a 9. But before I could regain control of my breathing, I said the dreaded words...."pain medicine." Jake and Mollee talked me through each contraction, allowing me to squeeze hands, and Mollee showed Jake a place on my back to push that helped immensely. During the few contractions I had while waiting for an anesthesiologist, I was able to regain control of myself, and focus more on my breathing. So, when they tried explaining the epidural procedure, I said, "No thank you!" And we proceeded with the original plan. Once the transitional stage began things progressed so quickly. Before I knew it, I was feeling pressure and wanted to push.

The rest of the time went by so quickly for me. At this point, I was basically in my own world. Solely focused on the task ahead of me. My comfort was Jake and Mollee's persistence when I needed them the most. One of each side, talking me through each second of pain.  I asked Jake later, and he said that I pushed 4 or 5 times before he was born. Before the last push, he had already crowned, and the NICU staff, and the attending physician wasn't in the room yet. So, I had to pause for a few minutes until everyone was present. Then one push or so later, David Nolan Mosley made his grand entrance into the world. Completely perfect, screaming his head off, and by far the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. I remember opening my eyes, and seeing him for the first time in the physician's hands. I quickly snapped back into reality, and my first thought was "That's my son!" Jake was able to cut the umbilical cord before they took him to a side room to be examined by the NICU staff. Jake went with the baby, and they kept me posted for the few minutes they examined him. He had APGAR scores of 9 and 9. (APGAR is test to quickly assess the health of newborn children immediately after birth. Scores are taken at 1 and 5 minutes, with 10 being an unattainable perfect.) Talk about a huge relief! Our prayers had been answered, he had arrived early, but he was perfectly healthy! He was 4 pounds 9 ounces, and 17.5 inches long.

They brought him out to me all swaddled and beautiful. I got to hold him for a minute before they wisked him away to the NICU. It was a huge relief that he didn't need any interventions like oxygen, etc. 

David Nolan Mosley

I learned later that both of my parents decided to hang out behind the curtain in the room for the delivery. And my Dad was able to record Nolan's first cries. It brings tears to my eyes to hear his little cry, and to see all the staff in the room prepared for anything. 

First time holding my baby!

The great thing about natural childbirth, is in no time I was on my feet, dressed and ready to go visit my son in the NICU. Jake insisted that I ride up to the NICU in a wheelchair (much to my dismay), and we had a hilarious experience with the tire coming off the rim. Standing in the hall way trying to fix it, totally exhausted, and slap happy!  It was just one of those side stories that I will always remember. That night I got to finally hold my Nolan skin to skin. The pure joy of feeling my sweet baby laying on my chest was so immense, it's hard to put into words. It made everything worth it. It sounds cliche, but the pain didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was the baby laying in my arms.

I was fortunate that the recovery process was incredibly easy. I didn't have all the pain some women talk about. I moved a little more slowly, but it felt great to be up and moving around. I can't say enough amazing things about the staff at UKMC. They took such excellent care of me. In a lot of ways, the birth process wasn't at all what I expected, but then again nobody plans on having a baby 8 weeks early. In other ways, it was better than I could have imagined. 

Having a natural childbirth was an incredible experience. But becoming a parent is one of the greatest blessings. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank Heavenly Father for this sweet little blessing. It's hard to believe my little baby is almost 7 weeks old! If you need me, I'll be snuggling my little peanut, and soaking up every second of baby bliss! Thanks for reading! 

Up next, the NICU experience...

Nolan's birth story - Part 1

It still surprises me that our sweet Nolan is already 6 weeks old, and technically I should still be pregnant! I thought for sure that I would have him close to his due date in September, but God had other plans!  Even though his arrival surprised us, my birth experience was so much better than I could have imagined.

On Tuesday, July 15, I woke up around 3:30 in the morning with some serious cramps. The day before had been a relatively normal day, with the exception that I had been to the vet with Maddie, and had to schedule her for surgery the next day. (She had pyrometra, an infection in her uterus.)  So, when I awoke at 3:30 am with cramps, I assumed that the culprit was stress, and that I needed to drink some water and relax. I took a long bath, and after an hour the bath turned into a shower, and yet the cramping continued. Around 5:30 am, I finally decided to call the OB ward at St Joseph-London. When I explained my symptoms, they told me I should come in and get checked. But the stubborn side of me still wasn't

convinced that the cramping was anything more than stress and dehydration. I didn't want to be one of those women who run to the hospital for every little pain.  So, I drank some more water and continued watching the 'Biggest Loser' on Hulu for another 30 or so minutes. Eventually, I went to the bathroom only to notice a tiny amount of blood, a undeniable ticket to the hospital. So, I woke Jake up and off we went. We still had not called our parents, because we "assumed" it was nothing.  After all, I was only 32 weeks, and all of the normal labor signs hadn't occurred. 

When we arrived at the hospital, we were quickly met by a sweet nurse named Emily. She started an IV, and got me somewhat settled into a bed. At the end of what seemed 200 questions, she checked me to see if I happened to be dilated. We were all shocked to discover that I was dilated to a 2, and 100% effaced! My doctor was out of town, so I saw one of the doctors on call who arrived within a few minutes of the nurses assessment.  She quickly confirmed what Emily had told us, and without hesitation said that they would be sending me to UKMC for preterm labor. To say that Jake and I were shocked is an understatement. I didn't have a bag packed, I didn't have all my freezer meals made, and all I could think was, "I have 20 pounds of peaches sitting on my counter to be canned today?!" I had never been in the hospital before, and now I was hooked up to an IV, had a catheter placed, and was being transported via an ambulance.  WHAT?

While they were prepping me to be transferred, Jake's Dad Moe, and I had to figure out how we were going to get Maddie to the vet, and back. It was imperative that she had the surgery that day, because we didn't want the infection to spread, or get worse. I was heartbroken that I couldn't be there for my little princess. I knew she would be scared, but my brother n law Caleb took excellent care of her. He made sure to give her lots of love, and she sailed through the procedure without complication.

Of course, the one day in my 31 years on this planet that I would need EMS transport, is also the day that I-75 was closed due to a hazardous chemical spill. So a drive that would normally take an hour, took over 2 hours traveling back roads at an alarmingly fast speed with lights, and sirens roaring the entire time. When we left the hospital, my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, and varied in intensity. They had started me on a medication called Magnesium Sulfate to help stop the contractions, and the bolus of medicine instantly made me feel flush and hot. That combined with the pain from the contractions made for a miserable ride.  Emily, the nurse accompanied the all female EMS crew. They were so kind as we drove along, telling me stories about their own childbirth experiences, and trying to take my mind off what was actually happening. After a while, I inquired as to whether they always drive with lights, and sirens, and was told that they didn't want me to have a baby in the back of an ambulance...talk about putting things in perspective. Thankfully, the medicine started doing it's job, and by the time we arrived at UK my contractions has slowed down to one every 10 minutes or so.

A very tired, and somewhat medicated selfie

When we finally arrived at UK, it was so awkward being pushing through the hospital. I'm used to being on the employee side of healthcare, and this was a totally new experience. We finally arrived at the OB ward, and as soon as we turned the corner to the triage area, there stood my Mom asking if I had arrived. It was a relief to see her, and I had to laugh at the impeccable timing. Not long after we arrived, Jake and his Dad, my Dad, and Kally all arrived. Jake's Mom was on vacation in the Dominican Republic, and was beside herself to get home. I definitely felt loved having so many people there! At first they didn't have a labor and delivery room available. So, while we were waiting, they had us in the triage area that was the equivalent size of a broom closet. I was only allowed 1 visitor at a time, so it was a constant stream of family going in and out. What stands out the most, was Kally and I laughing uncontrollably about lots of random things. We kept joking that they were going to kick me out, because I was laughing to much to "be in labor."

Where all the medicine action happened

Finally, our amazing nurse Mollee came and took us back to our labor and delivery room. It felt like a palace compared to the broom closet we had been in. Then we settled in for the long haul. They told me early on, that I would be in the hospital until I had him, because my "bag of water" was bulging, and could be felt when they checked me. Our goal was for me to hold off going into labor for 48 hours, mostly so I could have two rounds of steroids to help Nolan's lungs develop. So, I spent the day in bed hooked up to an IV of constant medicine that made me feel increasingly "loopy," as the day progressed. That evening we were blessed with so many awesome visitors...Dave and Kayla, Jon and Joe, Dustin and Rebecca, and of course our family camped out for the long haul. 

The view from my L &D room.

The next day, was basically a repeat of the first, except they took me off the Magnesium sulfate. I was finally able to eat, but was still mostly confined to my bed. Throughout the day, I would have a random contraction here and there, but the medicine had done it's job, and my labor had stopped. I was hopeful that I might be able to make it a few days before my water broke, but oh man was I wrong.

At 2:00 am on July 17, I was asleep, and woke up just enough to roll over in bed and think, "Oh man, that was a strong contraction," then BAM my water broke. It was undeniable, and in abundance. Jake was asleep in the recliner next to my bed, and the room was dark and quiet. I laid there for a few minutes taking in the fact that I would have a baby that day. And said a huge prayer of protection for Nolan and I. Overall, I wasn't nervous at all, just preparing myself for what was to come. I woke Jake up, who immediately set to pacing the floor, and calling our parents. It was go time!

More tomorrow!

The first month learning curve....

In honor of Nolan being a month old, I thought I'd write a list of all the new things I've learned, and a few I'm still learning...

1. How to do almost anything 1 handed....including, but not limited to, eating, changing out laundry, cooking, opening mail, you name it. I'm excited to start using our new Boba wrap to be more hands free! 

2. How to walk across our bedroom floor without causing the hardwood to creak. It's true that Nolan isn't bothered by most noise, but I think trying to tip-toe around a sleeping baby is innate. 

3. Pumping while...feeding the baby, rocking the baby, sleeping sitting up, blow drying my hair, putting makeup on, and surfing the internet (Ha!) 

4. How to quickly eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and pump before the baby wakes up. I call this a trifecta, and it makes me super happy. 

5. How to enjoy even an hour of quality, no interruption sleep. So rare, but so glorious. Thanks to my hubby Jake this usually happens for a few hours every night. He takes the first part of the night shift while I sleep. So appreciative!

Now, for fun...some things I have yet to master.....

1. How to keep my house somewhat organized. I swear the living room can go from clean, to having baby crap everywhere in no time. Dirty baby clothes (I swear he only spits up when I put clean clothes on him), blankets, bottles, binkies, and general clutter all over the place! Aahh! (So thankful for my Mama visiting and helping me get back on track!)

2. How to protect myself from being umm..."showered" during diaper changes. Just when I think it's safe....BAM, he gets me. Hilarious, and accurate everytime.

3. How to get back into a cooking routine. Pre-baby I always enjoyed cooking meals from scratch. Post baby, I'll happily settle for grilled chicken from Bojangles. We've eaten there an alarming number of times in the last two weeks. (Including tonight.)

4. How to keep myself hydrated. I swear I drink a gallon of water a day. Breastfeeding makes you thirsty! More thirsty than you've ever been every. single. day!  Thank goodness for my hydro flask! 

5. How to keep myself from pulling my hair back into a "crack Mom" pony tail every single day. I'm sure my hubby loves coming home to that! Hahaha. :P

This last month has been one of the best months of my life. Adjusting to our new normal has definitely been challanging at times, but it's also been the most rewarding experience of my life. Just seeing my little peanut look up at me, smile with that gummy grin, or grab my finger instantly makes everything worth while. I've said so many prayers of gratitude in the last month. Being a parent rocks my socks off! 

PS...I promise Nolan's birth story is coming next. Stay tuned! 

National Trail day!

Hiking is one of our FAVORITE activities. Last summer we did quite a bit of hiking, and decided we liked it so much, that we wanted to give backpacking a try. Let just say we were instantly hooked!

All winter long I researched gear, and read books on the Appalachian Trail (AT) like it was my job! Some would say I became mildly obsessed with hiking the AT. I honestly think Jake got tired of hearing me talk about it endlessly for weeks on end. I tend to be one of those people who will start researching something, and end up diving in head first, and reading for hours on the same topic. OOPS! 
I read people's trail journals (trailjournals.com), joined White Blaze (whiteblaze.net) which is a network where you can discuss gear, section hikes, and just about anything concerning the AT, and even kept up with the daily weather report on top of my favorite mountain in GSMNP Mt Leconte. (http://www.highonleconte.com/daily-posts).

After some convincing, Jake and I decided that we would spend our summer vacation hiking the 80 miles of the AT that runs through the Smokies. We had just finished obtaining the majority of our gear when I found out I was pregnant. We knew we would have to postpone our big trip, because hiking 80 miles with 30 pounds of gear while your 6 months pregnant just wasn't an option. And unfortunately, complications early in my pregnancy has resulted in me sitting out from any hiking until after our sweet Nolan is born. But honestly, I can't think of a better reason to be sitting out a season! haha.

Anyway, the point to this lengthy post is simply to say,

GET OUT AND HIKE!

There is some absolutely amazing sites to be seen in the woods, or deep in the backcountry! It's healthy, stress relieving, and energizing!  You can hike in any state, or all over the world! It's such a fun hobby! I'll leave you with some pictures of us hiking!

HAPPY NATIONAL TRAILS DAY! 

 

 

Long overdue pregnancy update!

Yes, I've been dragging my feet about writing this post. I write in my journal almost daily, but keeping up with this blog is a different story. Blah. As of today I'm 26 weeks, and 3 days pregnant. And man alive, I can feel it! My belly is growing by the day, and my poor belly button looks so strange. (Although, it hasn't "popped" yet...thankfully!)

Let me start where I left off last time...I followed up with the hem/onc doctor at UK, and he was exceptional! We ended up getting stuck in traffic on I-75 for two hours, and the doctor still saw us without a problem. We were so thankful! It was 3 weeks in between the colposcopy, and the follow-up appointment. I spent most of my time at home taking it easy, and working on projects like knitting during those weeks. And when the hem/onc doctor did the exam, he was astonished to report that the vein appeared to be healing, and looked like a discolored area on my cervix! Talk about a answered prayer! I went from having a vein the size of a quarter, to healed cervix. Let me just pause to say that  

WE SERVE AN AWESOME GOD!

 

I went from having an unexplained medical abnormality that could possibly be cancer...to completely healed in 3 weeks!  The doc repeated the pap test, and all came back negative. No cancer, no pre-cancer...normal! NORMAL!

After we jumped that hurtle, we excitedly awaited our gender ultrasound. Jake went with me to the ultrasound, and I can't explain how incredibly cool it was to see this tiny baby moving around! We decided to not find out the gender until a few days later, so we had to close our eyes a few times, because we didn't want to ruin the surprise, but other than those few minutes Jake and I were both glued to the monitor! Everything with the baby looked perfect! We even got to see all 4 chambers of the heart in action! We were both so thankful that the baby was healthy, and that I wasn't bleeding anymore! 

It was right after the ultrasound that it really started to sink in that we were having a baby. Up until this point I had so many complications, that I think subconsciously I didn't want to get "too excited," in fear that something dreadful could happen. But, driving away from the office that day, I felt a huge weight lift, and a growing excitement take it's place!

A few days after the ultrasound, we had a gender reveal party with our families. It was a low key cookout, and we were thankful to be surrounded by so many people that love us! I even had some family travel all the way from Chester, WV for the big reveal. (Thanks again Uncle Mitch, and Aunt Amy!)

 

I have several more pictures also, but I need to get them from my Mom and Gram's camera. I ran around in an flurry of excitement, and didn't take any pictures! But, without further ado...here's the video of us cutting the cake to find out if the baby was a boy or girl!

  

I was so surprised! I thought for sure the baby was a girl, but God had another thing in mind. We had already decided on a boy's name, so we announced at the party that we would be naming him David Nolan Mosley. We will call him Nolan, but when it came to deciding a name, we came up with it just days after finding out we were pregnant!

Since the party, everything has been smooth sailing. I've had two routine checkups, and Nolan is measuring exactly where he should be. Yesterday, I had to take the dreaded glucose test. It wasn't as bad as I thought, the drink they give you tasted like flat orange soda. I was thankful that I passed, and didn't have to take the longer 3 hour test. The comical thing, is that after only a few sips, Nolan went crazy! He was flipping, and dancing all over the place. While we were listening to his heart beat with the doppler, he was kicking it with force! It definitely made me laugh. He's been so active lately, and I absolutely love it! It's such a neat feeling to feel him moving. At first it felt like butterflies, but now it's full on karate.

Despite not having any more problems with the vein, I'm still not allowed to go back to work. My doctor fears that putting the same pressure on the cervix that caused the initial bleeding, would make the bleeding start again, and could potentially send me into pre-term labor. Something we definitely don't want! But, the summer will pass by so quickly, and I'm thankful for the quiet time to prepare for one of the biggest life changes we'll face! Jake and I are so ready to snuggle him!

In the next few days, I'll post about our progress on the baby's room, and the fun preparations we've been making. I never thought I would get so excited about things like a stroller! haha.